We all look so mysterious in this light,
People get philosophical,
When you tell them there’s no hope,
There’s hope, there’s hope,
We’re gonna live forever,
Until we die,
Forever’s only as long as you make it,
And we make it until the end of the day.
Hopefully.

Knock at the door,
And I’m inappropriate,
Ready and waiting to ignore,
Knock knock knock,
Unwanted visitor at my door,
Calls jokingly through the letterbox,
Leaves a note under the mat,
Sending me scolding messages,
With sorry said too much,
Sorry sorry sorry,
Sorry, not enough,
Lined with swear words,
Lined with, ‘if you’d just’,
‘it’s your fault really’,
Be that as it may,
I don’t want All Apologies,
Just more locks on my door,
Don’t want complimentary/condescending lists,
Telling me what I am,
I am I am I am,
Sitting quiet in Notre Dame,
Leave me be, sick fantasy,
Let go of my shaking hand.

So tired of never sleeping,
My brain can’t function,
An hour of uneasy sleep,
Just not enough,
So I sit smoking by my window,
Drink drink drinking,
Because what else should I do?
Any other way to pass the time,
All suggestions welcome,
Take away my time,
because God knows
I’ve got too much.

Give me a bear hug, won’t you darlin’,
tell me something
to be thinking of,
that means nothing to me,
nothing at all,
give me a tangent,
that veers me off
my crooked course,
something smile-provoking,
no more sips of
white remorse.

I pretend to be asleep,
Concentrate on careful, deep breathing,
Feign sweet carelessness,
The innocence of sleep,
My hands relaxed enough to be bent,
Folded on the pillow,
Faces blank and smooth,
The open window, rustle my hair,
The cold breeze makes me frown,
Your gentle shaking won’t wake me,
From my clever pretend,
I’m pretending I’m dreaming,
Abstract, defend,
Your gentle whispers won’t wake me,
Kiss me on the cheek,
My forehead, and leave,
Then I’ll be in two minds,
Why must we deceive?

I’m busy busy busy,
The busy birds and bees,
I’m hiding at the back of your mind,
With the dripping taps,
And the mould,
where the mushrooms grow,
where every sounds echoes,
the untidy, empty,
wet, green, blue, grey,
black corners of your mind,
where you don’t visit,
unless you’re really out of luck,
where I’m waiting,
covered in spider webs,
Reflected, murky, in this dense little cave,
Where my whistles,
my unhinged humming echoes,
I’m lurking in the back of your mind,
You, whoever you are,
Let me out the trapdoor,
My voice is tired,
And I’m out of things to do,
Visit me once in a while,
Give me a new point of view.

The stars lost their shine,
But they still shimmer,
Quiet in the silver light,
Past that garish-gold,
Stars, shooting past me,
Bang bang bang,
shoot the wishes down,
bang bang bang, we’re falling,
wishes crash landed,
buried underground,
go digging, they’re hiding,
that desperate weak glow,
and maybe you’ll get your wish,
off this giant burning ball off gas,
twinkle twinkle, romance,
shining star, you lit up the room,
and then you burned out.